Movie-Talkers: How to Spot One, and How to Avoid Being One

-How to Spot a Talker-

If you are reading this then you have undoubtedly experienced a movie-talker. A "talker" is a man or woman who takes it upon themselves to talk during a movie, effectively ruining the movie, and the whole experience for you and everyone within earshot of that person.

So how do you spot one? Well that is a little difficult but there are a few stereotypical people who always seem to be guilty of being "talkers", for example:

-Tween's and Pre-Teen's-
More and more kids today have cellphones and more and more of these kids talk, and talk till there minutes run out or they are blue in the face. So if you see a large crowd of gum chewing, fresh faced junior high, or high school kids more than likely your gonna be hearing more of them then the movie.

-Guido's and Collar Popper's-

Okay so if there ever was a missing link the look no further then those I call "Collar Poppers" and "Guido's". Oddly enough most of these faked tanned, hair gelled miscreants call New Jersey home, and I in no way am disrespecting Jersey, but there are an abundance of douche bags that reside there.
Anyways, back to the subject at hand these guys think there hot stuff, so they'll have there girl in tow and the alpha male will be released. While others are laughing or screaming depending on what movie you are in, then most likely you'll find these guys stoically trying to not show emotions, and yelling out periodically that this is stupid. Or when they fo laugh it is so boisterous and attention grabbing that they will continue to do it, because above all else these guys are attention whores, and they will do anything to get it.

-What To Do-

1) Never resort to physical violence, even if they really deserve it. There have been cases of people actually getting shot because they talked during a movie. So for those who like talking during a film, remember some people take going to the movies very seriously, and paying over fifteen dollars a ticket for a movie, only to have it ruined by a "talker" may piss some people off.

2) The people that work at the theater don't care they get paid six bucks an hour, and telling someone to shut up is often a hassle for the un-confident, and care-free theater worker.

3) Attempt to shut the person up by yelling at them if they are near or approaching them quickly and asking them to be quiet. Manners need not apply, a simple "shut-up" or "please be quiet" will suffice.

4) If the person still insists on talking then unfortunately the person is intent on being a dick that day, and will not stop. So you can either sneak into another theater for another showing of the film you are trying to watch, or you can simply leave the theater cussing and screaming and the guy as you leave. But do not go down to their level, you are better than they are and you love and respect the art of filmmaking so much that you will not interrupt anyone's movie watching experience.

To avoid being a "talker" do the following:

-Turn off or put phone on vibrate
-Don't text during the film
-Don't carry on conversation with the people you are with. If you have to, whisper.
- Reserve judgement on the film for after the show, yelling "this sucks" or "that is so fake" during a film is just as bad as talking during it.

Until next time fellow "Movie-Watchers", keep the popcorn flowing, and the film reel flickering...